ManDogs and CatWomen

(Note: My use of 'Men' and 'Women' refers to personality, not simply whether you were born looking like a boy or a girl.)

I'll start with myself

Just so I don't get accused of being catty to the ladies - ahem! - I'll start with my very humble self... Men are like dogs. And I wasn't really referring to the behaviors that usually net that moniker, either! You know, the 'hump whatever seems to need humping' activities? The 'failing finding anything that needs humping, I'll look for anything that won't bite me and hump it anyway' behavior? Yeah, those are descriptive of some of us guys some of the time,

But, I wasn't talking about SEX!

(insert your own one-liner here). What I was talking about is the way that we act, in general. Let me start by listing how I make my Dog happy. Feed him regularly and often. Pat him on the head whenever I see him. Say nice things to him, in a pleasant tone. Play with his toys with him. If he comes up and nuzzles me, return the affection. Find things that he does right and reward him - at least verbally - for doing them. If I have to scold him, make it short and sweet, be clear about what the problem is, present an acceptable alternative, then give him some affection. If he goes and sits in the corner and takes a nap - let him be! Isn't that about it? If I missed anything, let me know! Oh, and when he finds food on the floor and eats it... don't get after him, it is his nature! (Even if he isn't sure that it is really food)

What's the Difference?

Not much. When I nuzzle, pet me back, please! When I need cave time or nap time - let me have some! I don't need a cold-shoulder-and-glare day - and then be told to figure out what I did wrong for myself! Oh, and we both enjoy being around friends and wrestling or mock-fighting. Woof! One more thing - I do tend to scratch where (and when) it itches, too! 

 Men. Women. Canines. Felines. Masculine. Feminine. What's the other half of the story? Just so the militant feminists don't verbally try to make me into a eunuch, I will start with this disclaimer - these conclusions are only based on 40-plus years of observation, not science - and may not be reflective of the whole of womankind.

The following is a multiple-choice quiz. The choices are: Men, Women, Cats, Dogs - choose the top two answers.

1. Who wants attention NOW when they want it, and ONLY when they want it?
2. Who wants only the specific kind of attention that they want at that time?
3. Who eats in small bites and is picky about their food?
4. Who, once mad at you, stays mad at you for more than fifteen minutes, and won't warm up to you again for a long time?
5. Who will start rubbing on you, and if you return the affection, - might allow it, but is just as likely to turn away?
6. Who often takes lots of time to mutually groom another of the same species?
7. (Last but not least) Who gets as much amusement as possible from captured prey before putting it out of its misery?